Lekker: Mashed Brussels Sprouts

Everyone keeps going on and on about mashed cauliflower as an alternative to mashed potatoes; that crap is like the herpes of Pinterest. Unfortunately for me I've never been able to perfect the recipe--it always turns out too grainy or too watery and exactly 0% "just like mashed potatoes."

Um, excuse me, you are not fooling me. I know mashed potatoes.

I'm not saying they're terribly GREAT for you or anything, being only simple carbohydrates, fat and salt...but isn't that the very definition of a comfort food?

This stuff, though...these mashed Brussels sprouts leave that cauliflower mush in the dust and are so satisfying, and so comforting, I *may* never need to make mashed potatoes again.

Maybe. Let's not get totally out of hand here.

This is really fantastic stuff, though, and if you've already turned your nose at it because it's Brussels sprouts, you need an intervention! Brussels sprouts were brutalised for most of us, I think, with clumsy over-boiling until they were little green balls of sulphuric hell. Roasting baby Brussels brings out a crispy outer texture and sweet nutty overtones, and I'll have a recipe for that soon, but in the meantime, give this bad boy a shot. I'm SURE the concept of mashed Brussels sprouts seems strange, but what's life without a little (or in my case, a great lot) or strangeness? :)

This is the consistency I achieved using only a potato mashed, but if you want it smoother you could run it through with a pair of beaters.

Mashed Brussels Sprouts
serves about 2 as a side dish with a smidge for leftovers

What You Need
1 lb fresh Brussels sprouts (I buy the bag from Trader Joes, but if you can score them straight on the stalk at a farmer's market, by all means snag those! They look so cool, like something you'd see in Doctor Who!)
4-5 tablespoons salted butter, cut into pieces
1/3 cup half-and-half (or more, to adjust the consistency to your liking)
Salt & pepper, to taste

What You Do
1. I think this is even simpler and faster that mashed potatoes. Just wash your Brussels sprouts lightly (if they're fresh, there might still be a bit of sand/dirt on them) and trim the ends off, removing any grubby outer leaves. Slice into quarters, and toss into a steamer basket. If you don't have a steamer basket, GET ONE! It's just a little basket you pop into a pot that will keep your veggies elevated above the inch or so of water you'll put in the bottom. It's MAGIC.

2. Steam just until the sprouts are bright green and fork tender. Lift the steamer basket out, drain the water, and pop the sprouts back into the pot. Add your butter and half-and-half and go to work with a standard potato masher. Add salt and pepper to taste, aaaaand....you're done!

I asked my roommate TB to have a taste to let me know his thoughts. He dipped his spoon in, and was quiet. He dipped his spoon in again. He dipped his spoon in AGAIN...and I wrested the bowl away from him. Yep, "good enough I could eat the whole bowl!"